[even] as time goes by...

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns,
in all the world, she had to walk into mine."

-- Rick Blaine, from Casablanca

i feel you, rick. i really do.

years of experience have taught me to know better. and yet somehow, even if only for the slightest moment, *he* still has this obscure tendency to set me off-balance - for reasons, i just can't seem to comprehend.

edit: i found my balance again a few days after this post. there will always be certain people that have the ability to bring a smile to your face and cause an erruption of memories that can easily rehash emotions that were once familiar... but sometimes, you just have to come to the conclusion that some things were meant to be left in the past.

it feels great to be back on my feet again :o)

one for all of the neglected asian boys out there!

biggups to mandy for sending me this link:

yellow fever

so stereotypical... and yet, so amusing! ;oP

slight run-in with the february blues

my anthem for the past few days: "twentysomething" by jamie cullum

After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought.

Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,
finding myself or start a career.
I could work for the poor though I’m hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same.

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat,
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack?
Who knows the answers? Who do you trust?
I can't even separate love from lust.

Maybe I’ll move back home and pay off my loans,
working nine to five answering phones.
Don't make me live for my friday nights,
drinking eight pints and getting in fights.

I don't want to get up, just let me lie in,
leave me alone, I'm a twenty something.

Maybe I'll just fall in love that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more.

Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.

doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah...

I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.

only 5 days into the month, and the februrary blues seem to have already started to rain on my parade (appropriate imagery, i thought - especially with the odd weather these past few days) - of course, this is all partially due to the fact that i'm on my period and my cramps have succeeded in dampening my cheery disposition. there is absolutely *nothing* glamorous about feeling as if a million gremlins are doing the electric slide all over my uterus and having to walk around like i have a football stuck in between my legs. far from glamorous, indeed.

on top of that, i think i'm finally starting to feel the stress of working two jobs, along with the attempt to juggle possibly one too many responsibilities all at the same time. this quasi-superhero life of retail by day and teacher by night is in desperate need of action-packed adventure, romance, and all things in between.

i'm in serious need of some sort of escape. yes, i need a vacation. well, actually, i think i just need to get out more - but sadly, it's a little difficult to do so when friends are either halfway around the world, in school, or their schedules just don't seem to agree with mine. poops.

in times like these, i miss the simple joy and fascination of experiencing new things and interacting with interesting people; just getting out of the house for motives other than work - which just happens to be one of the many reasons i'm looking forward to going back to school (depending on whether or not york, ut, or western love me enough to accept me). i used to be such a fan of establishing a life-routine, but lately i'm finding that getting *too* settled into an everyday routine can be rather blah and even perhaps somewhat overrated.

however, the encouraging thing is that i know this funk that i'm currently in shall soon come to pass as other previous funks have in similar manner. i cling to the hope that all things - as they so strangely and wonderfully do - will eventually be right in the world, and "happy" me will be restored to its fullness and radiance once again. afterall, it's just WAY too early in the game for me to be having a quarter-life crisis :oP

crash

It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

-- Graham, from Crash

i ended the one hour and 40 minutes literally speechless.